Oh there are so many things that I want to say. So many important messages to get out there. I am learning and growing and embracing myself – it’s equally terrifying and exciting. I have no idea where to even begin…
Based on what I have experienced over the past almost year, one would think that I would be completely jaded in regards to people in general. I have every reason to trust no one and look for the ulterior motive in every situation…but that’s just not me. I don’t think that I’m naive by any means, I just always try to see the best in others. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best – right?!
Anyway, despite my hope for others to act/behave the way that I think they should (yeah, that’s a problem… I know) I am still often afraid to come in to contact with someone who has an outside perspective on my situation. Anyone who “heard about” my husband, but didn’t ever have the opportunity to truly get to know him.
This past weekend I was humbled and surprised twice by the kindness of others. The first time happened when I was going through some of the cards from the funeral. I don’t know how I missed it at the funeral, but the mortgage company that we were planning to use for purchasing our new home had sent flowers to the funeral home. How amazing is that? We didn’t know these people and I was the one primarily interacting with them, but they took the time to look up his funeral details and send flowers to honor him. I don’t qualify to use them anymore, but Veteran’s United Home Loans will always have a special place in my heart.
The second time was at the eye doctor of all places. I was referred to our eye doctor by other people in our neighborhood and it turns out he lives in the neighborhood as well. He was awesome…very attentive and knowledgeable and open to my many questions. Well after Josh passed I had to call them to cancel his upcoming appointment so I knew they knew about my situation when I showed up. I was pretty nervous about whether or not I would be welcomed or not. I had nothing to be worried about. He was so kind and so open about his own experiences with loved ones passing. And he listened to Josh’s story. Without judgment. He even contributed some relatable information from people in his life. I felt so comfortable and cared for on so many levels. I will gladly drive an hour for an eye doctor appointment every year for as long as he is in business. That is a sure sign of caring for your clients.
I think this past weekend was an excellent reminder to give people a chance, they might surprise you! There are plenty of people out there who will openly (or secretly) judge my life and my husband’s life and the crap that the media published. Who needs them? If it makes you feel better to belittle someone who was fighting demons nobody should ever come in contact with, then I feel bad for you.
Here is to embracing life and letting people love on me a little bit. Josh affected so many lives in a positive way… I only hope to be able to do the same with the rest of my life.